Matt Barkley | Your Mother's Mustache

Lane Kiffin Loves Prepubescent Boys

Lane Kiffin loves little boys bootyholes!

David Sills, all of 13 years old, has verbally committed to USC. Sills is a quarterback out of Bear, Del., who has drawn raves for his talent at such a young age.

“His skill set is off the chart,” his personal coach Steve Clarkson told ESPN. “I’ve never seen anyone at his age do what he’s been able to do.” Clarkson has mentored other top quarterbacks in the past, including current USC starter Matt Barkley.

According to the ESPN, new USC coach Lane Kiffin received a verbal commitment from Sills on Thursday evening. “He’s already six feet as a 13-year-old,” Clarkson said. “And he’s breaking down NFL footage.”

Is this really what the world is coming to??? College football programs are accepting verbal commitments from 13 year olds. I don’t get it, when I was 13 I thought that I was going to play football for Florida State. As the years went on, I decided to verbally commit to boobs, booze, and marijuana. You watch the minute this kid smells the vagina, he’s done. I thought that this National Signing Day for high school football players was too much. What now a pee wee verbal commitment day! I don’t care how good this kid is, the ages 13 to 18 are a lifetime and alot of crazy things can happen that could curtail him from even playing football anymore. Fuck it, as of right now I am verbally committing to the Senior PGA Tour. I figure I have 21 years before I qualify, but why not if this kid can verbally commit to USC at the age of 5 why can’t I verbally commit to the Senior PGA Tour.

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Bobby O, February 5th 2010 | Tags: David Sills, ESPN, Lane Kiffin, Matt Barkley, National Signing Day, Senior PGA Tour, USC, Verbal Commitment
Posted in Random Stache', Sports

Marrioti is really freaking me out

marrioti

It’s not uncommon for sportswriters to have man-crushes on athletes, but when you lead with this Freudian slip, you’re bound to raise some eyebrows: “The afternoon sun was orgasmic. … Yet nothing was more radiant than Matt Barkley’s smile.”

Mariotti dubbed Matt Barkley the next great QB in SC’s lineage of gun-slinging supermen after the Trojans’ 53-point shellacking of San Jose State on Saturday. But since the jury is still out on Matt — his first career victory came against a WAC team that played .500 ball last year — Mariotti was forced to gush instead about the undeniable “sex appeal” oozing from Barkley’s “blond hair and good looks.”

Thanks for sharing your tastes, Jay.

What makes this man crush so creepy is the fact that Barkley is only 19. As Mariotti points out, Matt isn’t even “old enough to grow more than peach-fuzz stubble on his face.”

I would normally have a lot to say about this but I am too busy right now cleaning the puke up off my floor to deal with this. I always knew there was something a little off about Marrioti though……..

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