Tomlinson to the Jets

NEW YORK — LaDainian Tomlinson is bolting for the Big Apple.

Tomlinson’s agent, Tom Condon, said Sunday that the New York Jets signed the former Chargers running back to a two-year contract.

The Jets confirmed that they have agreed to a deal, adding the aging star to the NFL’s top-ranked rushing offense last season.

A source told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter that Tomlinson’s contract is for $5.1 million with an escalator that could boost it to $5.6 million.

“He wanted to go to a team that he thought had a chance to compete for the championship,” Condon told the AP. “He wanted to go somewhere where he had a chance to have a significant role, and so with the Jets he also was going to be very familiar with the offensive system.”

I’ve seen a lot of analysts bash this signing, which only supports my theory that 90% of the world’s population qualifies as mentally retarded.  Tomlinson may be 31 and on the downside of his career, but if you asked me who I’d take as a BACKUP running back among the free agent crop, Tomlinson is a no brainer.  He will spell Shonn Greene and come in on third downs for his pass catching abilities, something that Thomas Jones struggled with.  This is a low risk/high reward type of move, because if he’s really finished the Jets will cut him and Leon Washington will pick up the slack.   But if Tomlinson can still play, I like his chances to have a productive year for us.  Don’t forget- Jones was 31 last year when he rushed for 1400 yards and 14 touchdowns behind the best offensive line in football.  Shamus O’Cabbage’s mother could tote the rock in that offense.

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Leon Washington may be leaving the Jets? WTF

The way the Jets have been acting of late, it makes you wonder if they’re planning a radical shift in their “ground and pound” offensive strategy and are going to have Mark Sanchez conducting the run-and-shoot.

The Jets are treating their rushing attack, ranked No. 1 in the NFL in 2009, as if they want to dismantle it and start over.

Just days after the Jets informed Thomas Jones, their leading rusher the last three seasons, that they’re going to release him, they now have left Leon Washington dangling for another team to sign him away.

The Jets yesterday issued Washington, their second leading rusher and a restricted free agent, to just a second-round tender offer. It means if another team wants to sign Washington, and the Jets don’t match the offer, that team would have to give Gang Green only a second-round draft pick as compensation.

For a former Pro Bowl player who’s a difference-maker on offense and special teams as an explosive returner, that doesn’t seem like a very high price.

Predictably, Washington’s agent, Alvin Keels, delivered this message on his Twitter account yesterday tweaking the Jets:

“Expect there to be a market for Leon during free agency and would say his return to the Jets will be 50/50 at best at this point,” Keels tweeted.

Keels, further pushing the Jets’ buttons, added of Washington, who’s recovering from a compound fracture in his right leg: “He is ahead of schedule while rehabbing from his week 7 injury. He will be 100% healthy and ready for camp either in NY or elsewhere.”

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Tedy Bruschi picks Jets to win the Superbowl

Last night on Sportscenter, former Patriots linebacker Tedy Bruschi picked the Jets to win it all this year.  In a related story, I have decided to cross his name off of my people to kill list.

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San Diego is German for “a whale’s vagina”

Make no mistake about it: this is the Jets year.  But I’m not going to rub it in your face just yet.  I’m going to wait until they beat the Colts next weekend.  And after they beat the Colts I’m going to travel to Miami to see my team deliver the first championship in 40 years.  There’s going to be hookers and blow and garlands of fresh herbs.  And after the Jets win we will dance til the sun rises.  And then the hookers and I will form a band.  And we will tour the countryside and you won’t be invited.

That first week after the Superbowl is going to be tough for you.  The FAN is going to be flooded with calls from obnoxious Jets fans.  Your Mothers Mustache is going to have a daily article spotlighting the greatness of Darrelle Revis.  ESPN is going to be all over Rex Ryan’s nuts.  There’s going to be a ticker tape parade, and the streets are going to be flooded with green jerseys.  Every local paper will have a 10 page pullout to commemorate the Jets 2009 season.  Time will pass, and the hysteria surrounding the Jets will slowly fade with the start of baseball and March Madness.  And then, 5 months later, when you least expect it, I’m going to show up on your front lawn with 8 of my buddies, hammered, belligerent and chanting in full Jets gear, and we’re going to once again remind you about that 4 week stretch in January and February when you were licking our gang green sacks on a daily basis.  And it’s going to be fucking sweet.

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The REAL Defensive Player of the Year

 

NEW YORK — Green Bay cornerback Charles Woodson has won The Associated Press 2009 NFL Defensive Player of the Year award.

The versatile Woodson tied for the league lead with nine interceptions, returning three for touchdowns, and was a key to the Packers’ turnaround on defense.

His role in Green Bay’s performance — second in the league in overall defense, first in interceptions (30), takeaways (40) and turnover margin (plus-24) — earned Woodson 28 votes from a nationwide panel of 50 sportswriters and broadcasters who cover the NFL.

He doubled the number of votes for New York Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis in becoming the first Green Bay winner since Reggie White in 1998 and just the second Packer in the 36-year history of the award.

What a fucking joke.  Darrelle Revis shut down the number 1 receiver on the opposing team week in and week out.  He is literally the reason the Jets are in the playoffs.  Rex Ryan’s blitzing defense doesn’t work unless you have a bonafide shut down corner.  Charles Woodson was in the right place at the right time and got 9 picks and a fucking trophy.  If you’ve ever watched Woodson play, you’d know his entire game is based on holding receivers and getting away with it.  I could probably cover an NFL receiver if I had a fistful of his jersey the whole game.  The fact that Woodson got this award just goes to show that the writers responsible for voting for these awards don’t even watch half the games.  A fucking trained monkey can read a stat sheet and pick out the player with the most interceptions.

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Tell Me How My Ass Taste

Between the Jets embarassing the Bengals on Saturday, and Fancy Boy Tom Brady throwing 3 picks and getting knocked out of the first round of the playoffs yesterday, this is the best I’ve felt on a Monday morning in a long time.  I’m sure the critics will still have plenty to say leading up to the Chargers game, but verbal diarrhea is a condition that affects 9 out of 10 douchebags.  Regardless, I’m going to thoroughly revel in this big win, and I look forward to hearing all of the lame excuses that fat fuck Mike Francessa and his army of jerk off Big Blue fans come up with this week.

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Clip of the Day

 

I’m with Berman on this one.  As a life long Jets and Mets fan, the only thing that has kept me from strangling myself with a shoe lace is a steady diet of illegally obtained prescription meds and scotch.

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You Got Served

r_moss_i

It hasn’t been this good to be a Jets fan since 1969, when Joe Namath was guaranteeing Super Bowl victories and dominating New York City’s gigolo game.

Randy Moss, after getting completely shut down by the Jets’ cornerback Darrelle Revis on Sunday, had this to say after the game:

“All week, he’s talking about he’s a shutdown corner. There’s really no shutdown corners in the league because they have help for most of the game. I mean, I probably could play corner if I had (safety Brandon) Meriweather over the top for the whole game. I think I could be a shutdown corner.”

New linebacker and defensive captain Bart Scott responded in an interview on SNY:

“I hear the easy copout by Randy Moss, saying that anybody can guard … that I can play cornerback if I had safety help.  That was a one-on-one jump ball. I think sometimes you’ve just got to give the man his credit, understand that [Revis] was the better man that day.  That doesn’t take from the fact that Randy Moss is a great receiver in this league. But give the kid his due. Next time it’ll [be] another chance to go out and do it again so [Moss] can’t say the same thing.  [Revis] shut him down. He intimidated him. Randy was coming across that middle real slow. Tell him to man up next time and come across the middle like a man if he wants to be a complete receiver.”

That might be one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard, not only because Bart Scott gave Moss the proverbial bitch slap, but because its true.  Moss has been a little bitch ever since he came into this league, and it’s nice to see someone finally call him out on it.  Maybe you should just keep your mouth shut the next time you get embarrassed Randy.

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